People often ask how I’m doing and my response is usually that I am ok. Jason and I have realized that “ok” leads people to think I’m feeling better. When I’ve said that I was having a bad day or needed help I have gotten the response of “But you said you were better”. Jason thinks I need to clarify what my version of “OK” means.
The reason I can say that I’m doing “OK” when I’m around people is that I only see people when I’m not vomiting or sick to my stomach. I might appear to be doing well in the moment. I can assure you that if you see me once I got home it would be a different story. All of my energy goes into being a “normal” pregnant women in public. It takes me roughly three hours to be able to make it out the door. Most of that time is spent trying to eat and keep food down while resting because I’m so dizzy I can barely see.
So the question is…What does “OK” mean to me?
For me it means I’m not in pajamas, I ate some breakfast, and made it out of the house. It might even include putting on make-up (which I try really hard to not leave without, I look way to pale and sick).
What does “OK” not mean?
It does not mean that I’m feeling better. The nausea is gone. I’m not dizzy/lightheaded. I have energy. Or, that I’m having a good day.
“OK” is a day I can handle. We still have a long road ahead, at least 16 more weeks. I can hardly wait to meet this little person.
On a positive note for today, this is one very active baby!
I started my post on Tuesday by saying I was hesitantly optimistic. Apparently I was right to be hesitant. We had our 19 week ultrasound yesterday. The baby was super active! The technician had a hard getting pictures because the little one kept moving on her. 🙂 I already knew we had an active little one in there. This baby can flip around for hours in the evening! Good thing it’s still tiny enough not to cause mommy any pain.
Everything seemed to be going well until the ultrasound lady went to get the pictures and came back saying she needed one more. I’ve had enough ultrasounds between Zack and this baby to know the abreviations for cervix and placenta. When she left the room I knew something wasn’t right. Jason kept telling it was, she probably just forgot a picture. When she came back with the pictures she wasn’t smiling, it was like she forgot and reminded herself to put on the happy “everything’s fine” smile for us.
So, just when I was thinking I might be getting back to more of a “normal” life with the help of the Zofran, something else comes up. The Dr informed us that I have Placenta Previa. One of my first thoughts was, can’t we get a break!? Now that my nausea and vomiting was getting under control and I was starting to be able to play more with Zack it was been taken away again. The Dr said I can only lift him in/out of his bed and car seat when needed. I also have to take it easy and not lift things.
I’m realizing today that it is much easier to be down when you physically feel horrible, but it is really hard when you’re body is finally feeling somewhat better. Zack has had many breakdowns today because he wants to be carried. He still loves to be held. Daddy’s arms are going to be full when he gets home tonight.
We have another ultrasound in a month to see how things are going. I looked up a few articles on placenta previa today and they all said this was an uncommon pregnancy complication. So, add that to the rarity of HG, and elevated liver enzymes from Zofran. I do not think my body likes pregnancy.
Only about 20 weeks left and we get to meet this little one!
I am hesitantly optimistic. At my last Dr apt my Zofran was changed from a 1/2-2 doses to 3 full doses a day. So, once again my days and nights are interrupted by alarms reminding to take my medicine. I feel like in the last week I have had more “better” days than I had been.
The down side is that my liver reacted badly to the constant Zofran when I was pregnant with Zack. It caused my liver enzymes to be quite elevated and caused me to have black-outs. The black-outs were bad enough that I couldn’t drive and did not leave the house for months. Just walking from the house to the car was more than I could handle at times.
I have noticed that I have been much more light-headed and weak feeling since I started taking the Zofran more often. We are praying that it does not get any worse. My Dr did blood work at my last apt to check my liver and so far my liver enzymes are in the normal range. He will keep checking throughout the rest of this pregnancy.
I asked him if there were any alternatives to the Zofran. He said the other options were not as strong and since I needed to take it more often as it is was, it would not make sense to try anything else.
On a happier note…Jason and I get to see the baby again tomorrow! We’re excited to get more pictures and see how this little one is growing.
Zack has been very loving toward his baby. He likes to pat my belly and give the baby kisses. He’s going to be a good big brother.