The End of Akalooland

Well, the last few days have not been great. I rested a lot last week in hopes that we could do something over the weekend. Saturday I made it to the mall long enough to get new cell phones and then sick all the way home. 

Sunday may have been my last day in Akalooland, our churches children’s program. I didn’t feel well at all before we left, but of course told myself I was fine and went anyway. Ten minutes into the morning I had to leave. That was a huge bummer! Jason had been asking me the night before how much longer I really thought I could do it. My answer, until the baby is here! Again, thinking I could do more than is really possible. I made it a whole month longer this time than I did with Zack. So, that’s a blessing.

I sure am glad the church lobby has couches! It made a comfy spot to lay down and wait for Jason to come find me.

Sunday afternoon was spent sleeping and laying around. Followed by Monday of laying on the couch as much as possible with a 2 year old wanting to play. I woke up so sick on Tuesday Jason had to go in to work late so he could take care of Zack while we waited for my dad to come. Zack had a fun day. He helped Grandpa do laundry (which hadn’t been touched since Jason’s mom helped last week). Have I mentioned what a blessing grandparents are?

More HG specific update…The dizziness and faintness seems to be starting. I don’t think it was this early in our 1st pregnancy. The scary part is, last time it led to blackouts and being homebound for months! It also led to lots of tests by my midwife. The medication, Zofran, had been causing me to have elevated liver enzymes. Because my liver was being affected from the HG my midwife and GI Dr decided I needed to be switched to an OB for the rest of my pregnancy. That was a hard switch, I really liked my midwife and trusted her. The Dr I was sent to came highly recommended, Jason’s aunt had seen him for 2 pregnancies. He is who I am seeing again this time. 

I tried several different medications last time in hopes that something else would work and I could stop the Zofran. It didn’t. I have been trying to take only two doses instead of three this time hoping to avoid any liver issues. While doing more research I have read about Unisom and Vit B6. I plan to ask my Dr about that next week. I honestly do not have high hopes of it working, but maybe it would help some.

I also am trying to accept the fact that I need to let go of the housework, laundry, and cooking for now and focus any energy I do have on Zack. Being a mom you think you can do it all. Sometimes you just can’t. So for the sake of Zack and this baby it is time to let go and ask others for help. Please pray for me with that!

 

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Zack’s back

My Little Moose came home on Saturday! 🙂 It is a lot easier to let him stay with grandparents when it’s so that Jason and I can have a night away. When it’s because I can not care for him, it’s a lot harder. I called to check on him so many times! The nice part was that he was happy to talk to me (or at least listen to me talk to him).

Zack did good while he was with grandpa and grandma. He did have a rough time once he came home though. He spent Saturday night and Sunday clinging to mommy or daddy and lots of tears. Jason had to work Sunday so it was just Zack and I for church. Oh wow! He fought me for 40 minutes over putting on pants! I was exhausted, but I had to follow through and make him put them on. We didn’t make it to the 9:30 service and I thought if we snuggled for a bit we could maybe make it at 11:00. I was so wrong!! We made it to the car that time, but with so much screaming we didn’t even get to the church parking lot.

Zack was so upset he wouldn’t get out of the carseat and kept crying for mommy to hold him. I scooped him out like a baby and could feel his body relax in my arms. He stopped crying, looked at me, and said “mommy has Zack”. We laid on the couch and snuggled instead of church.

Our little boy definitely needs some security right now.

Here’s where we’re at

This pregnancy started out much better than the last. I was convinced that God had chosen to spare us from the horror of HG. When the nausea and weight loss started at six weeks I told myself it was just good old morning sickness. After a week of that my sister convinced me to call my OB for Zofran, just in case. I’m so thankful she did and we were able to do something before it was out of control. Early intervention is key with HG. As the weeks went by I needed to keep taking more and more Zofran to make it through the day. But, I kept telling myself it would not last like it did in my 1st pregnancy. I was sure it would end with the 1st trimester. Oh how I looked forward to that day.

Than came week 13.

My HG seems to be progressing from a mild case to a moderate case. That was quite a depressing realization. Not only have the last 10 weeks been physically difficult, but as my HG progresses it is emotionally draining as well. Try to imagine having stomach flu or food poisoning for week after week after week. With the flu you know an end is coming. With food poisoning you know it’s just a matter of getting the yuck out. With HG, vomiting only makes you vomit more, it is a vicious cycle. There is no relief afterward. My facial muscles tense up like I am vomiting even when I am not. My body is so conditioned to heave. Fortunately this time around the Zofran is controlling the vomiting but not the nausea and heaving.

Though the HG has started slower this time it is not any easier to deal with. This time a precious little boy is being affected. Jason and I are thankful that Zack is only 2 years old and we are praying that he is young enough that he will not remember mommy being sick. It broke my heart the other day when we pulled into the pharmacy and he announced “parmcy, mommies medicine”. He has days where he is very loving toward his baby and will pat my belly or blow the baby kisses. Then there are days when I can’t do anything with him and he will try to hit the baby or say “no baby mommy”. We want him to be able to bond with his sibling and not hold resentment for taking mommy away.

The hardest part is when I am so sick that I can not even take care of my own son. Days when my parents have to come and play with him or, like right now, I have to let him go stay with grandpa and grandma. He enjoys his time with them and I know it’s good for him to get away. I am so thankful for grandparents who can step in and help care for our little boy. I don’t know where we would be without them.