Almost 1 Year Later“

Wow! I haven’t been on here in a long time! I have been working on Zack’s story. It has been a lot harder to write and more time consuming than I expected.

Levi is coming up on his 1st birthday, August 21. He is going to have a safari themed party and hopefully the weather holds out as it is a cook-out.

Zack loves his baby brother and has been so good with him. One of our prayer requests was that Zack would bond with the baby and not resent him. What a blessing to see the love between the two of them. Levi lights up when Zack is around. He thinks anything his big brother does is hilarious! It is so cute to watch them.

Another prayer request was that Zack would not remember Mommy being sick. We had thought he forgot until a few days ago. Zack has recently been talking about when Levi was in Mommy’s tummy and coming to the hospital to see his baby and Mommy. This week he surprised me when he started talking. He told me that I used to be really sick and it made him sad and he cried a lot. He was quite insistent that I not get sick again because I am healthy now. I asked him when Mommy was sick. He got upset, put his hands out, like when stopping something, and very sternly kept saying, no no no you can’t get sick again!

I did not want to upset him anymore so I let the conversation go. It was hard to hear that he still does have some memories of that time in our lives. He was only 2yrs 9mons old when Levi was born.

Levi was diagnosed with a severe case of Reflux (GERD) just before he turned a month old. Talk about LOTS of laundry! The 1st few months he and I could each go through three outfits in a day. He’s doing much better now and only taking his Zantac a couple times a weeks. We have done research and talked with Levi’s Dr and speech therapist and it doesn’t appear to be related to the HG at all.

He eats like a champ. We are pretty sure that is his favorite activity. 🙂 My body can’t get pregnancy right thanks to HG, but at least I have been able to feed my baby well. In fact things have been going so well that I have been able to send 80lbs of milk to a donor bank where it will be used for NICU babies. https://www.hmbana.org/

It amazes me that after everything we went through with HG, both boys seem to have no issues. They are both healthy, happy, smart, and growing as they should. I have also found some great HG groups on Facebook that have been a source of comfort for me. It is nice to have a community of fellow HG Survivors who understand and to be able to help someone else. I wish I had found them while I was going through my pregnancies. I had prayed for a way to help others through my experiences and God has given me an outlet.

I am continuing to work on Zack’s story to share and will update after Levi’s birthday celebration.

Here’s where we’re at

This pregnancy started out much better than the last. I was convinced that God had chosen to spare us from the horror of HG. When the nausea and weight loss started at six weeks I told myself it was just good old morning sickness. After a week of that my sister convinced me to call my OB for Zofran, just in case. I’m so thankful she did and we were able to do something before it was out of control. Early intervention is key with HG. As the weeks went by I needed to keep taking more and more Zofran to make it through the day. But, I kept telling myself it would not last like it did in my 1st pregnancy. I was sure it would end with the 1st trimester. Oh how I looked forward to that day.

Than came week 13.

My HG seems to be progressing from a mild case to a moderate case. That was quite a depressing realization. Not only have the last 10 weeks been physically difficult, but as my HG progresses it is emotionally draining as well. Try to imagine having stomach flu or food poisoning for week after week after week. With the flu you know an end is coming. With food poisoning you know it’s just a matter of getting the yuck out. With HG, vomiting only makes you vomit more, it is a vicious cycle. There is no relief afterward. My facial muscles tense up like I am vomiting even when I am not. My body is so conditioned to heave. Fortunately this time around the Zofran is controlling the vomiting but not the nausea and heaving.

Though the HG has started slower this time it is not any easier to deal with. This time a precious little boy is being affected. Jason and I are thankful that Zack is only 2 years old and we are praying that he is young enough that he will not remember mommy being sick. It broke my heart the other day when we pulled into the pharmacy and he announced “parmcy, mommies medicine”. He has days where he is very loving toward his baby and will pat my belly or blow the baby kisses. Then there are days when I can’t do anything with him and he will try to hit the baby or say “no baby mommy”. We want him to be able to bond with his sibling and not hold resentment for taking mommy away.

The hardest part is when I am so sick that I can not even take care of my own son. Days when my parents have to come and play with him or, like right now, I have to let him go stay with grandpa and grandma. He enjoys his time with them and I know it’s good for him to get away. I am so thankful for grandparents who can step in and help care for our little boy. I don’t know where we would be without them.